What a lot that phrase can cover!
At this moment, it covers my youngest brother-in-law's death, the aftermath, and our hasty (and ahead of schedule) trip to Syria.
Burhan was about 50 years old. He was the youngest of my husband's siblings who survived into adulthood and reproduction. There were eight; now there are seven. He began his own family rather later than usual in that society. That means there are now five youngsters without their father. They range in age from 14 down to 4; three girls and two boys.
He was the spark of any party or gathering. He was the chief organizer of parties. He was the one who kept his father's bakery running despite all odds. He helped out everyone else with all their problems. Besides working endlessly in the bakery, he saw to it that his 'land' (patches of farm land well outside the city devoted to fruit trees) was well cared for and produced bumper crops of fruit - which he then carried to each of his siblings each week during the season.
He never asked for anything in return; nor did he receive it. No one ever offered to do anything for him. His brothers often shirked their turn in the bakery, even though none of them worked there full-time. Everyone felt free to ask favours of Burhan, but no one ever seemed to have any favours to offer him. Unfair!
Whenever anyone of them wanted some cash, he handed it over. Unfortunately, he never kept proper books of the bakery business. There were no books for him to take over from his successful, but illiterate, father. Early this summer, everyone got very agitated and they all demanded a family meeting. At that meeting, my husband played the role of peacekeeper. Burhan was supposed to put the books in order and present a proper accounting of income and outgo ... yet no one, not even the retired mathematics professor, offered to assist him. My darling did offer to help ... my darling who barely has a clue where our own monies are; who has never filed his own tax returns; who never kept books for his own business. Well, that offer was never carried through.
I dread this visit. I foresee the complete dissolution of the ties that have held these siblings more or less together into late-middle or old age. Burhan was the glue after their father's death. Without him ...
My lack of Arabic and the simple fact of being a female will insure that all I can do is be a silent bystander and watch the inevitable train-wreck. Left to my own devices, I'd stay far, far away from it. Since my darling says he'll be less unhappy with me over there with him than not, I'm going. In less than a week!!
At this moment, it covers my youngest brother-in-law's death, the aftermath, and our hasty (and ahead of schedule) trip to Syria.
Burhan was about 50 years old. He was the youngest of my husband's siblings who survived into adulthood and reproduction. There were eight; now there are seven. He began his own family rather later than usual in that society. That means there are now five youngsters without their father. They range in age from 14 down to 4; three girls and two boys.
He was the spark of any party or gathering. He was the chief organizer of parties. He was the one who kept his father's bakery running despite all odds. He helped out everyone else with all their problems. Besides working endlessly in the bakery, he saw to it that his 'land' (patches of farm land well outside the city devoted to fruit trees) was well cared for and produced bumper crops of fruit - which he then carried to each of his siblings each week during the season.
He never asked for anything in return; nor did he receive it. No one ever offered to do anything for him. His brothers often shirked their turn in the bakery, even though none of them worked there full-time. Everyone felt free to ask favours of Burhan, but no one ever seemed to have any favours to offer him. Unfair!
Whenever anyone of them wanted some cash, he handed it over. Unfortunately, he never kept proper books of the bakery business. There were no books for him to take over from his successful, but illiterate, father. Early this summer, everyone got very agitated and they all demanded a family meeting. At that meeting, my husband played the role of peacekeeper. Burhan was supposed to put the books in order and present a proper accounting of income and outgo ... yet no one, not even the retired mathematics professor, offered to assist him. My darling did offer to help ... my darling who barely has a clue where our own monies are; who has never filed his own tax returns; who never kept books for his own business. Well, that offer was never carried through.
I dread this visit. I foresee the complete dissolution of the ties that have held these siblings more or less together into late-middle or old age. Burhan was the glue after their father's death. Without him ...
My lack of Arabic and the simple fact of being a female will insure that all I can do is be a silent bystander and watch the inevitable train-wreck. Left to my own devices, I'd stay far, far away from it. Since my darling says he'll be less unhappy with me over there with him than not, I'm going. In less than a week!!
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